Transitions - more life or more of the “same old, same old” boring stuff?
Posted by Faith, 17 March 2008
If you want more from life then you have to plan for it. It doesn’t matter how old you are.
If you are in your twenties (and those who are older can think back to this time), your choices can seem endless. And, you have something the rest of us can’t buy (or buy back) – lots of TIME. Here’s your chance to try out some new things - explore exciting training and career choices, or begin travelling overseas, or start a band, or make a film, or play sport or blog your way to a novel. While all of us at any age can still give these things a whirl, in your twenties you have more time to explore them. You can even stay up all night (and still look good the next day). By all means seize the moment, but you still may want to focus on what YOU want to try out in life, and not what others want for you. You’ve also got time to use the “most powerful force in the universe”, also known as the miracle of compounding interest, to jump-start the money you will need to explore travel, work and life into the future.
http://www.kiplinger.com/columns/starting/archive/2007/st1107.htm
Somewhere in your late twenties/early thirties you will have further developed these great ideas and passions for what you want to do next. As well as your parents telling you to “settle down… get a life”, you might be amazed to hear a small voice inside your head agreeing with them. That’s OK, as it’s all about having the life you want, not about “settling down” or thinking like your parents. Set about following your passion and your destiny, whatever it is – business, career, personal relationship, family, house, music, etc
If the thirties are about “getting a life” (and enjoying it), the forties and fifties become a time to re-evaluate again. As adult children finally leave home, their parents suddenly notice they have much cheaper grocery bills and that food doesn’t mysteriously disappear from the fridge. There is also greater hope on the mortgage front, as more of the principal is repaid and there is less doom and depression when the chequebook is balanced. For some, this turns into a mid-life crisis and a Harley Davidson. For others it is a turning point to greater things.
For those in their fifties and sixties, new transitions loom again. At this point, some people will begin telling you that you should think more about retiring. You start having nightmares about your teeth in a glass on the bedside table, creaky joints, and hair sprouting out of your ears (for men) or on your chin (for women). You worry that all treats in life will be reduced to Sunday drives for a wee ice cream by the sea. That’s if the petrol prices don’t go through the roof, of course.
Is retirement supposed to be like this?
“No”, you scream, “that isn’t for me. I have no plans to retire in my fifties and probably not even in my sixties. Sure, I would like to slow down. But stop? Never! I would probably die of boredom.”
This is the cry of many New Zealand “baby boomers” (who were born between 1946 – 1964). They have worked most of their lives and have accumulated assets through sheer hard work. To them, the word “retirement” has connotations of getting old and living miserably. What they want now are choices. For example, the option to work less hours, or to see more of their family and friends, or to travel more often and for longer, or maybe do charity work or start a new hobby.
With the right focus and help, there is still time to sort it. Goal setting is a proven method for those who want more out of life.
Whether you are in your twenties, or eighties, or somewhere in between, a goal can become an exciting life destination. As with any other destination, you need to plan how to get there. It’s simpler than jumping on a plane, and there’s no jet lag or airport security checks to worry about.
Think of goal setting in the same way as planning your next holiday or trip – start with a dream. Give yourself time to dream and imagine what it would be like to be there. If you want a holiday in Rarotonga, you would probably picture yourself lying on a beautiful beach in the warm sun, with a cocktail in your hand. If your goal is to own your own home, spend more time with the kids (or grandkids), learn to speak French, or anything else you really want, then start by imagining you have already accomplished it. Enjoy that feeling and keep it alive, by providing daily reminders.
As a travel dream reminder, you might cut out pictures from a travel brochure and stick them where you can see them every day – by your bed, on the window ledge above the kitchen sink, on your computer or the dashboard of your car. With other goals, the reminders might be images of houses, or your family at the park or beach, or of happy people ordering from the menu of a French restaurant.
Then, start thinking how you would get to this destination for real – do you need time, money, advice, a teacher, a financial planner and/or something else? Start writing these down.
As soon as you start thinking about HOW, rather than IF you are going to do something, a magical thing happens in the brain. It may be due to a chemical reaction, or all those positive neurones opening up new channels. Either way, people change at this point and begin to think of the goal as possible, rather than a “maybe”. It seems like the universe somehow conspires to help. In reality, it is the change in thinking that does the conspiring.
Writing down HOW you are going to achieve your goal, and then acting on it, helps to reinforce this change.
Of course, there will be obstacles and things will sometimes go wrong. That’s OK and normal. Obstacles can be overcome, providing you concentrate on how. Then, start actually doing “the how” part. Thinking will only take you so far.
For example, you may feel you don’t have enough time to achieve a goal. The answer is to schedule time to work towards it, just as you would for a haircut or a visit to the dentist. You make time for one, so why not the other as well?
Goal planning can be a great tonic for those who think they are in rut. Instead of constantly thinking how boring/dull/pointless your life is, start considering what life would look like when you are out of this rut. What would you be doing and with whom? What excites you about this different life? How could you make it happen? Act on this plan and make the difference between surviving, just doing “same old, same old” boring stuff, or really living life
Goal setting is about destinations and the trick is to start at the end, not at the beginning. Then, all you have to do is make the journey to get there.
---ends---
Want to know more about how to make better choices about money? Check out Faith’s Fact Sheet.
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See previous blogs:
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Can you grow a money tree?
What's holding you back?
Money or your life - which has more value?
The seven secret thieves
Five questions to change your life
Find that spark
Switching lives - what would you choose?
Who can I trust to help grow my money?
How to swim in a sea of money
Life can be unfair
The rule of happiness
No way to live
Anyone can be good with money
Best ways to warm up winter
Who wants to be a millionaire?
The secret of wealth
Keeping your money safe
Having it all
Win an all-expenses-paid trip for two to Europe (Part 3)
Win an all-expenses-paid trip for two to Europe (Part 2)
Win an all-expenses-paid trip for two to Europe (Part 1)
Make a change for good
A recipe for a happy Christmas
Nothing else matters
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Make a wish come true
Buying or Selling a House – Those that care least, usually succeed
When is a good time to buy a house?
Sleepless Nights in a War Zone
Transitions - more life or more of the “same old, same old” boring stuff?