Blog: Make a wish come true
Posted by Faith, 7 July 2008
Do you have a wish list? Many do and when our dreams come true we are happy, right? Not always. Ever heard the expression: be careful what you wish for?
Let me explain with a story I read about an obese man who met a genie. As usual in these tales, the man was granted a wish and he wished that he weighed less. The genie snapped his magic fingers and – kazaam – the man weighed nothing at all, BUT he still looked the same size. This was not what he wanted, even though he had wished for it. What the man really wanted was to lose fat (in the right places), become fitter and to look good. He possibly also wanted a better life and thought that being slender and fit was the way to achieve it. This last reason, was probably his REAL wish. He didn’t necessarily want to lose weight – he actually wanted to gain life.
We are unlikely to meet a genie. However, we can make wishes come true, providing we are clear about the result we seek. So, before making rash changes to your life, think about what you really want and WHY.
Let’s look at one of the most common dreams: “I want to be rich”.
Most of us would confess to thinking about this at least once in our lives, sometimes even once a week. It is commonly believed that if we had enough money we would have fewer worries, we would live life how we liked, and we would be happy. While there is some truth that we might have less money worries (in terms of having enough to pay for food, rent or mortgage payments, education, clothes, etc) there is little evidence that having wealth means having no worries. There will be worries of a different kind, including money worries – e.g. where to invest the money so it’s not lost; whether people like you for your money or just for you. There is also no evidence that having money automatically makes us happy.
Of course, I know what you’re saying – you wouldn’t mind having a go at being rich, just to see if it made you happy or not.
Instead, let’s think about what we really mean when we wish to be rich. To some it will be the freedom to make choices about our lives - such as, doing the things we like with the ones we love. Others might be more specific about having enough food on the table and fuel to keep warm on a winter’s night. Still others think its about having time and funds to travel, take part in sport or the arts, help the community, spend time with their families or pay off the mortgage.
By probing deeper, we discover what we really want. Money then becomes only one channel to make these dreams happen.
Still not convinced? Think about the person who wants to build high wealth. If their REAL goal is to provide their family with a good life then working long hours for too long (in order to get the wealth) might rob them of this good family life. There’s nothing wrong in building a business, working hard, or even in being rich - but all of these need to be in balance with what you really want.
First decide what you want and in all areas of your life. Plans can go astray when only one part of your life is considered. Of course, there will be conflicting goals and dreams. For example, you may want to travel a lot, but you also want to buy your own home and get a good education.
How do you do it all and still stay sane? How do you make progress, which motivates you instead of exhausting and frustrating you? I have found that there is always one strong recurring wish, which sits in your soul and constantly reminds you how much better life would be if you only acted on it. If you take one piece of advice from this blog, it is to make sure you do one thing every week which fulfils the ‘soul goal’. This will keep you on track and give you the ‘feel good factor’ when you have to choose one course of action over another.
From here, you can look at the other important, but not as critical goals or wishes. These tend to be fringe - they add to life, but may not go as deep. For these, try and take small steps each month to achieve them. Don’t fall into the trap of expecting to achieve everything immediately and every day. Life doesn’t work that way. Take small positive steps and don’t forget to look back and feel good about your progress.
When deciding how to make your wishes come true don’t compromise everything just to earn the money. There needs to be a balance. In the example of the person who wants to give their family a good life - they may need to work hard, or long hours sometimes, but they can also take time out every week to enjoy family life and outings.
While some might still think life would be so much better if they were rich, life is actually about doing the things we love and enjoy, whether we are rich or not. It’s a miserable person who thinks they can’t be happy just because they aren’t rich, just as it’s sad that others think money ALWAYS buys happiness.
Money can help make our choices happen, of course. But, to have the best shot at a good life, you need to know what those choices are. A good life well lived is something those who don’t have it would give away all of their wealth to achieve. Best of all, taking time out to consider, and then work towards our wish list, is FREE. Anyone can do this, no matter how much or how little money they have.
So, if you met a genie right now, what would you wish for?
---ends---
Want to know more about how to make better choices about money? Check out Faith’s Fact Sheet.
"Keeping the Faith - Travel the World" is now for sale. Click here to buy a book.
See previous blogs:
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Can you grow a money tree?
What's holding you back?
Money or your life - which has more value?
The seven secret thieves
Five questions to change your life
Find that spark
Switching lives - what would you choose?
Who can I trust to help grow my money?
How to swim in a sea of money
Life can be unfair
The rule of happiness
No way to live
Anyone can be good with money
Best ways to warm up winter
Who wants to be a millionaire?
The secret of wealth
Keeping your money safe
Having it all
Win an all-expenses-paid trip for two to Europe (Part 3)
Win an all-expenses-paid trip for two to Europe (Part 2)
Win an all-expenses-paid trip for two to Europe (Part 1)
Make a change for good
A recipe for a happy Christmas
Nothing else matters
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Make a wish come true
Buying or Selling a House – Those that care least, usually succeed
When is a good time to buy a house?
Sleepless Nights in a War Zone
Transitions - more life or more of the “same old, same old” boring stuff?